Sunday 3 December 2017

30 Jokes

30 JOKES
  1. What do you call the incredible hulk crying the corner? The Incredible salk
  2. What did the vampire dog say to the normal dog? I want to siff your but blah blah balh
  3. There's this slide and a pool is at the end of the slide the first kid says Ruby's the second kid said diamonds and the third kid said weeeee and pee filed the pool
  4. Where do Cows get their milk from? The milky way
  5. Why do donkeys have bumps all over them? Because keys donk them
  6. Knock knock who's there a broken pencil a broken pencil who? Never Mind it's pointless
  7. Knock knock who's there? Thedoor thedoor who? The door wasn't opened so I knocked
  8. Knock knock who's there? Cows go cows go who? No cows go moo
  9. How do get a baby out of a tree? You give a mexican a stick and tell him it's PiƱata
  10. How did a little boy win against lebron james in basketball? Because he put the ball in a basket
  11. Will you remember me in a year? yes
              Will you remember me in a  month? yes
              Will you remember me in a week? yes
              Will you remember me in a day? Yes
Knock knock who's there? I thought you would remember me?

12. Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says “I’m lonely I wish my friends were back here.”

13. What do you call a cat thats scared of a mouse? A pussy cat

14. What is the best season to jump on a trampoline? Spring time

15.What is the strongest creature in the world? The snail. It carries its whole house on its back.

16.Teacher asks the student: “Why are you so late?!
Student “Well I was crossing the road and suddenly it says “School ahead, go slowly!”

17. elephants go for a walk on a stormy day. They only have one umbrella between them. How come they none of them get wet?Well did anybody say it was raining?

18.Where do pencils spend their vacations?
In Pencilvania.

19. Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick, “What school?”





20. Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!”
Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”

21. My socks got really holy. That's why I can only wear them to the church.

22.   My diet plan: Make all of my friends cupcakes they fatter they get the thinner i look

23.Teacher says "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student says "Meat!"
Teacher says "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student says "Bacon!"
Teacher says"Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student says "Homework!"

24. My friend thinks he is smart he told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry so I threw a coconut at his face.

25.  What do you call a pea working for a stamp company? A stampede

26. How a you stop a bull from charging? You take away it's credit card

27. What do you call a bull that’s sleeping? A bulldozer

28. What do you call a boy baby wearing a hat? A son-hat

29. What should you name your dog with the letter U? doug

30. Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents live
Police: where do your parents live?
Me: with me
Police:Where do you all live?
Me: Together
Police: where is  your house?
Me: By my neighbor's house
Police:Where is your neighbor's house?
Me: You won't believe me if i tell you
Police: TELL ME!
Me: By my house